the Rihanna effect

[manifesta]

I'm in the middle of writing a ton of papers (in particular, the final paper for my main experiment), so I'm dropping in just to link an entry made by Sarah Dessen regarding domestic violence:

"I'm sitting here watching a segment on domestic violence on GMA, and it's breaking my heart. They're talking specifically about teenage girls, and what they are calling the "Rhianna effect," i.e. that since she came forward and talked about being beaten by Chris Brown on Friday night, calls to domestic violence lines---and specifically teen targeted ones---went up considerably. This is an issue close to my own heart, because I wrote a book about a girl in a similar relationship, and since then I have literally gotten hundreds of emails and letters from girls telling me about their own stories with abusive boyfriends. It's a terrible, terrible thing, that this happens, and I so respect Rhianna for coming forward and shedding some bright, needed light on the subject. I was never in an abusive relationship. But several of my close friends, in high school and since, were, and they were not weak women. They were strong and smart and just got overwhelmed. It happens. But it doesn't HAVE to."

Emphasis mine.

I loved Dreamland, her book that involved domestic violence, and so I really appreciated that Dessen made this statement. However, I'd like to note that violence doesn't just 'happen.' There are specific gender roles our society perpetuates that in turn fosters violence against women by men. Domestic violence or sexual assault victims/survivors do not simply 'get overwhelmed.' This implies responsbility, and that if they had simply done something, called someone, the violence never would have happened or it could have ended sooner. The responsibility to end the violence shouldn't be placed on the woman to make that call; it should be placed on the man to not engage in violent behavior.

I truly don't believe Dessen meant it this way. Unfortunately, semantics is half the battle. As long as we continue to blame women with our words, on purpose or on accident, we continue to support the violence that is being perpetrated against them.

Comments

[theinkymuse.livejournal.com]

It's interesting that you remark on how we've got to stop placing the blame on women, because I've found some disturbing instances which only prove this to be true.

After the Rihanna incident, I've heard of people--both male and female--saying things like "it was her fault," "she shouldn't have attacked him first," and really just blatantly finding her culpable for being assaulted and beaten. What the hell is wrong with people?

I've never understood that. If someone shoots you to death because you stepped on his or her foot, is that your fault, too?

Because it really shouldn't be.

[manifesta]

Unfortunately in our society we've been trained to blame the victim when that victim is a woman. When someone is robbed, we don't go up to them and ask whether they provoked the person into robbing them or if they walked through a known high-crime area while listening to the latest iPod. We just accept it, and try to help them. Many times, however, when a woman reports that she has been beaten or sexually assaulted, the first question that people ask is, "What did you do to deserve it?"

What was almost as bad were the people who said Rihanna was a bad role model for going back to him. The cycle of violence is an extremely tough circuit to escape, and blaming her for not being able to do so is just another form of blaming her for the violence that was inflicted against her in the first place.