The "Really? Do we have to?" thing is exactly what ended putting me off a lot of books and media for a long, long time. (Now I am all for lots of romance!) -- only the better stories have that balance between the romance and adventure and often I just feel that the romance makes the girl feel like less of a person, and more of, like you say, a shell that's there to get together with the (almost definitely older, mysterious in some way, emotionally sensitive while being inaccessible in some way) boy.